not happy with drawing, hardly any time for art- stressing me out. Need those jobs, yet pitching for them leaves me struggling to be something I'm not & not giving myself time to be/ do what I am good at- whatever that is. When I ran my pottery I never felt like a 'proper' potter, but of course I was, now it frustrates me that all those pottery skills lie dormant and unused. I feel everything is clumsy and amateur, even my garish crochet projects. What I did realise tho' that I surround myself with illustrators and comic artists, who all draw from imagination? I feel so inadequate at this, but then remembered that from an early age was taught that drawing from imagination was bad, drawing from observation was the only valid method. Blimey it even took me years to get past the idea that photo reference was woeful cheating. so many rules, of course to let go of them all would result in completely self indulgent splodge of cat fur and plaster- its art darling. If I don't get some time to do any soon I shall implode- which would in itself, be art of course.
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