Tuesday, December 27, 2011

a light in the darkness

So I hope you all had a good Yule? I hope those of you who find Yule/ christmas difficult got through it all okay. The light follows the darkness. 
During the Christmas break everything stops, everything retreats back to the home, the family or the alienated solitude- No work, no comfort of routine, no bustle. For the lucky ones feasting, laughter and family fun. For others the sense of being on the outside looking in, aspiring to some idealised candle lit fairy tale around a christmas tree. 
My adaptive life philosophy is a sort of pessimistic optimism, i expect nothing, its no big deal, but then it's all up to me anyway. Nothing is a great foundation on which to build enjoyment and pleasure in every little details, anything above nothing is a bonus.
As it happens Christmas day was family fun. The other trick with expecting nothing is also to expect the unexpected, to be open to everything, to believe that anything can happen. If you watched Derren Browns recent programme where he 'tricked' a whole town into believing in 'luck', you'll know what I mean. We make our own luck by being open and receptive to chances, amazing opportunities, open doors. Problem is that when an open door slams shut in our face or traps our proverbial fingers, we can lose this openness and trust... and in my case this year, in getting burnt, i lost confidence in my own senses, intuition, feelings and thus lost the muse in the process. But some you win some you loose. One project turned into a sudden dead end where i was left feeling exploited and discarded like some dodgy Christmas jumper when the novelty runs out. Luckily before i had time to mope & wallow the TV cameras arrived & wham bam abracadabra I was in the middle of this autumns massively exciting community project.  I had no idea my other project would end in tears, but likewise I had no idea the treehouse project would actually happen, and it did. 
A pause for thought would have been nice, but a star appeared and is shining the way in the winter darkness again, I don't know why, what for, where to, or if its a good idea to follow it, but its art, who am i to argue.

1 comment:

Ali Orr said...

Great stuff, Vicky!