Shishkins forest

20th? Friday .

Incredible day, again! All the art finished first thing in the morning a symposium, ah I forgot to mention that the weather had broken yesterday, thunder and heavy rain came.. So the excursion via coach was to a national park that Shishkin used to frequent and drawn inspiration from.

 Imagine a coach tour which then required a 15 minute walk, many of the ladies in sandals and nice dresses, normal for Russians. No sooner than we wee in the wood that I saw a snake, the equivalent of a grass snake. Everything here is - like a parallell universe - the same but different, a dark grey snake with yellow spots by head. Late I saw a greater spotted woodpecker. No sign of the boar. Beavers and moose which also live in this forest, the forest was gorgeous. Pines, spruce birch and deciduous trees, their birch are taller, the hazel leggier, the elderberry red. As if the forest Wasn't beautiful enough, and the tales of Shiskin carrying his 17lb easel into the forest, we then arrived at a bronze age site with a holy spring which now has a shrine, with icons, flowers , a cat, and beautiful wooden piping to allow you to drink from the clear crisp water. The trees were all bedecked with ribbons, like our Scottish Cloutie wells, it was so magical.

 I used my teeth to bite off part of my top so I too could make a wish, the same wish I made when I placed my hand on the tower at dawn, and when I saw the shooting star. We then saw the small lake nearby. There was also at the spring a place where you could shower in the cold clear holy water an enclosed wall, our guide led the way stripping down to shorts and going into the freezing water with woops, a couple of the guys also went for it, and with the place being so special and magical I couldn’t not also take my baptism in the spring, kind of weird with 35+ people watching! So I stripped down to nickers and bra and dived in there, so so alive and simply reborn in the moment! Moments after coming out the skin and whole body tingling refreshed fantastic! Of course I had the task of trying to pull clothes on pull wet underwear off with dignity. Lynn, Meena and some more of the men went inn one by one, when the crowd moved on a couple of the Russian ladies also. It was fantastic.

I stopped for a moment and felt something I hadn’t felt in a long long time, a sense of something else something bigger something beyond, then ..Shinod wanted his photo taken with me. AGAIN!   Thinking about it I wondered why we need solitude for spiritual peace, why can’t we let go also in a crowd?: all the western insecurity and fears, are they not borne of egocentricity ironic though it seems, it we were not so wrapped up in the pressure on the individual then we would not feel so inadequate, to immerse ourselves in the whole, in others, to let go, then we become free of the judgement we suffocate ourselves with. Talking of philosophy , as we walked back through the forest our guide discussed with the group, the question of what Shiskins work and the environment invoked, what it means to us… very russian, taking pride in thought and wisdom rather than cynicism and ignorance of the UK

LAst painting day

Thursday 19th . Last day to paint

can’t believe the way the time has flown in,


Slept like a log last night & feel groggy today as a result/ normally at home I suffer allergies all the time , aches and pains and IBS. I’ve still got the aches, feet ae killing me from starting painting all day and all the walking and heat, but in all other ways I feel healthier than I have done in a long time dispute the lack of sleep. With the food here there isn’t that stuffed bloated feeling after a meal. There is much less carb’s, maybe one small portion of rice, potatoes etc a day, much less bread, some pastries, pancakes, dairy is not so much in the form of milk or cheese but sour cream and curds ( or whatever the yogurty thing we drink in the morning is ). Will have to re think diet at home.

Art
Trying to put my finger on how it is so different here in art, hard to get to the bottom of  how their system works, how they are taught, attitudes, we are coming from such different angles its hard to find the right questions to ask. So I’ve found out that they study different disciplines, first the study drawing, which they translate as ‘graphics’ ( which lead to confusion ) this appears to be seen as a completely different thing to painting whereas of  course we study drawing and painting. When I went to art college there was very little technical input as to how to weild a pencil or mix paint, very little skills based teaching , one lecture on colour theory, one lecture on composition and perspective then that was it mostly we were expected to dig into ourselves take something we saw with out eyes in front of us and reproduce, develop and push it into something else , not so much an impression, but starting from an impressionistic methodology then express the impressions in a developed or abstracted form? Its hard to define because this is just the way it is, but its clear here that something is very very different. One of the artists we were told is a master of composition and teaches this, we are asked who is our favourite 20th C artist, of course I don’t have one as I look back to archaeology, folk art, illustration, and the pre-Raphaelites as my influences. I’m not sure if illustration is seen as a different art form here, much of the work here is illustrative, interpreting ancient epics but still true to the original mythos without the need to distort and personalise that we seem expected to do. ( more on the theme later ).  I get a sense that there is styles and people follow their master or teacher, an art student explained to me that they are free to choose their own path, but also that they copy old masters to learn. There is a daugher here with her father, he is a famous and respected artist, her work echos his, and the way she walks and listens to him seems to carry a great respect, rather than rebellion and seeking a different identity that you would expect. I wonder if women artists garner the same respect as men? There is a good mix here, the mens work is bigger and bolder, some of the womens is intricate and delicate. There are some very famous artists here I will have to look up when I get home, everyday they walk about everyone nodding approval at each others work, I think the Russian speakers maybe are getting quite in depth comments and critiques. I wonder how they find out work which is so different? There of course is the huge chip on shoulder which comes from never fitting in at home, from existing in too many genres, but I think Uk culture in general is one of criticising, jaded, cynical, having to categorise, specialise, everything has a price tag on it. Handicrafts are considered very low culture and of no value at home, only an elite of crafts makers ae slowing gathering recognition for their work, but only after it has been pushed to abstraction and concepts layered within it. At the moment here there is an exhibition of gem jewellery in the fine art gallery across the road. Its all art. One academy teacher bought in some of his students work, it was hand made books, incredible, everyone gathered inspecting them with great reverence, font and illustrations had been computer printed then the books were bound or created in various creative ways, illustrations from photos of quilling…imagine suggesting to a tutor at our colleges that you were quilling? One book was match boxes in lines, sewn into pages, each page had images, each box had more images, all very creative, without rules and definitions. They reminded me of some mini-comics, which again are seen as low culture. Ideas foe when I get home.
The lady next to me, Maria, or ‘Masha’ paints with pressed flowers, this isn’t a granny at a craft fair with decoupage hobby kit, but beautiful folk art which everyone ooo’s and aaahh’s at . So much respect from all the artists to each other, not a sense of hierarchy, status and value.

Now I must crack on with painting! More later.

19.30

What a bonkers day rollercoaster. The organisation of this whole symposium has bene incredible, smooth proffessional and we haven’t had to think for ourselves at all. Today however was a frenzy of activity and mixed communication. I thought I had until mid afternoon to finish the two paintings, there was an excursion for an hour in the afternoon but I thought I could do that and finish the paintings after, but it turns out they had to be in and delivered to the gallery for voting before the excursion.

Alex & Luda presented us all with beautiful books, cleverly chosen to be the perfect choice for all of us, such perceptive, wise and kind people! ( yes Alex I mean you ! ). My book is about the ) artist Vasnishav ( sp ? Who specialised particularily in epics and myths, its sort of pre-Raphelite, Arthur Rackham, John Duncan style but with a Russian twist and just the art book I would have chosen! Perfect, Oychin Spasiba!

 despite this pressure to paint I wanted to catch a chap who was rumoured to be leaving today as there were only flights once a were to his state, so I nabbed Anna translator & headed to look for him, as usual the studios were deserted I don’t know where everyone went & how they finished their work as I was glued to the easel a week! The gentleman I was looking for wasn’t about but we found Bulat so I sat with him for a chat. Bulat Gilvanov is a young artist who’s work I’d seen on the Yelabuga website before we came so I was keen to see the exhibition. I think it was the first day here we were shown it and I was blown away, one painting had me struggling to hide tears. There was an army of 40 Women who faught together as all the men had been lost, he is painting one by one these women with great historical accuracy using local artifacts from the museum. He is also a musician, a tartar. At the conference/ discussion/ press conference held earlier in the weke he had asked me about fantasy art and celtic traditions, I had rambled on can’t remember what ( will try to wrote more about this event later ) but I didn’t really understand the question and what he meant by fantasy art. So we had a good chat today, although it is always really formal going through a translator, it seems things are not so different in many ways. I felt if I painted a historically accurate cuchuillin or such, no matter how well or big the canvas, it would not be considered fine art, it would be illustration or fantasy art which is considered popular low-brow culture, he is keen to get the details correct to capture and bring to life the past rather than fantasy work. He then showed me photos of some previous GIANT canvas paintings one of which is in the national tartarstan museum, unbelievable, completely indescribable! Like a renaissance battle scene- without shonky perspective, painted by a Glasgow colourist, impeccable composition, colour palette, accuracy, style, detail stunning, he showed me details like his own musical instrument ( traditional Tartar string mandolin type thing ) the horse bits- wow ! Emotional again, even paintings he did as a 19 year old were incredible pre-raphealite ( but not ) makes my work feel very vey small. However he says he still has to do commercial work, its rare to get the opportunity to paint what he wants, its hard sometimes to get the materials. If I win the lottery I think I’ll open a gallery of Russian artists, these artists deserve to be seen! So I explained how his work had moved me and how the image of a warrior woman on the steppes, like he paints,  is what I dream about being when life gets hard- He told me that he feels the same about history and culture but he day dreams about being William Wallace in the Scottish hills! The grass is always greener in mysterious far away lands. But actually I think it not just be a delusion, if you leave your own place you leave normal expectations and constraints, plus as a ‘foreigner’ you gain more quodos, respect, peoples curiosity, you can be who you want, and your exoticness gives you freedom, and of course to impose UK values upon it, its good PR , a good USP. ( urg, how disgusting such thinking seems from here ). So fired up from speaking to Bulat it was back to work - and quickly quickly ! Time running out fast. Quick lunch back we go, and OH no time was nearly up ! Goal post kept moving…

Sinod who has been a chatterbox and socialising the whole time went completely into the zone in the last 30 minutes he was painting with two brushes dancing singling in a complete trance like a madman oblivious to the cameras and everyone laughing, some cookie! They’ll not forget him in Yelabuga in a hurry!  This performance took the attention off me for a bit as I was by now in a panic trying to finish, no time to appraise the work think about what I was doing take breath or anything, it was getting very stressful! I am not particularly happy with the results, its just such unfamiliar work, I think the drawing stands on its own feet but the paintings are neither one thing nor the other. They are certainly different from the Russians work, strangely enough people often ask me and Lynn whos picture is who’s as if they look the same, whereas to us they are a completely different style, just like I guess we don’t  think we  look like brits, but of course we do in a
wider context. So stress mounting painting furiously with people saying oh you can finish later, its time to go, you mist finish now, etc, I realised I’d have to try & skip the excursion and just finish the things with the bare minimum, no time to appraise. Frazzled I finished, deserted studios, headed down town to catch up with others, I got rather lost in translation!  Ah I wish I had a list and photographs of everyone to remember their names, I can’t put the sound, the faces , the Cyrillic and English spelling together at all. A wonderful egentleman who is a museum designer, painter , mural painter, ceramicist showed me where everyone was eventually. The ever patient and graceful Olga had come out to greet me.

Folks were by now at the police/ military training college, the others more relaxed and full of laughter but I was still fried after so much painting! A very interesting visit - I hope to write more of the history  & museums later. Then collect last work, take to exhibition hall, and we had forms to vote on a scale of 1 - 10 about everyones work. And how well they had interpreted the theme ..ARGH!!! This was horrible A) I couldn’t read the names on back of paintings and translate back into English b) I had to ask for help so everyone would see what I had voted c) to vote at all ! D) that they wee voting my work which looks so incongruous & crass. Over Supper Olga explained that normal this is done by a jury of judges, but as an experiment and to demonstrate to artists how difficult it is to judge art they wanted us to do the first round. I am not sure if all our pieces will be selected. Eeek. Also at supper we were joined by the afore mentioned respected artist, who with Olga’s help reassured us that he feels the same and is also unable to relax until after the grand opening tomorrow. It was very helpful to hear this from such an amazing artist, he said he would be winding down by doing some more art, which was genius! Normally when a project is finished I get a great sense of relief and clarity like coming out from under water, but this process has left me hungry to do more art but at a slower pace. The others drank beer & larked about back in the studios as we tidied up our spaces, eventually I just sat quietly with Masha ( who gazes at one in a disconcerting fashion but is so lovely I try not to get too embarrassed ).

Winding down by writing, but do need to get washed and make effort to socialise despite being in quiet peace seeking mood. How many artists to change a light bulb? Don’t know but 30 together is one crazy lot of emotions!

sunrise

Wednesday 18th august,

Last night caught up with rich on skype for the first time since my adventure, so strange to hear and English ( irish ) voice! Lovely and strange to be so far away,  so much to convey. Wi fi was a pain, up too late trying to upload some of the many hundreds of picrtures, then sleep until 2.45am, we had been invioted to go fr a walk to see the sunrise, we met at 3am at the hotel, three of the English speakers and 3 of the Russian speakers. It was a perfect clear starry night, cool crisp air made a pleasant change from the stiffling heat we have become used to.


Around 3.30? We heard the call to prayer from the main mosque echoing through the city, venus shone down, first glimmer of dawn through the birch trees   venus shining down, deserted streets except some road sweepers, by hand cleaning with short brooms. We walked at a brisk pace for a good 45 minutes to the Bulgar tower, sky yellowing, mists rising from the Kama and Tolma ( toima? Ap ), a dredger grinding away relentlessly in the Tolma, barges avoiding the large rocks where the rivers meet, one story about where Yelabuga got its name is connected with this large rock. To the West the lights and gas flames of  Nizjnekamsk, to the south Neberezjnye Chelny where our flight came into the other side of the massive river Kama. The north, the direction we had come looking through Birch woods to the new city, the Mosque tower over the white birches.

 In front of us to the East the old city of Yelabuga where we work, sky lightening up. We were at the site of the old bulgar fort, nearby a wonderful statue of the first man who formed the city. We drunk a little wine, played a little music, took many photos,  mostly with Shinod in! one of the gentlemen with us ( unfortunately it is very difficult to remember so many strange sounding names when the are written in Cyrillic as well ) he dressed up in tartar traditional dress and posed with the sunrise at the ‘devil’s tower’ . there was a Big shooting star behind the tower. A sleek tabby cat came and spent the dawn with us. We have been communicating in pigeon words, funny noises, silly faces, sign language and enactments, which makes for much hilarity , “  rarr rarr Loch ness monster da da da! Oi oi ! “ the sun rise was stunning, photos will not do justice, but just imagine the vista spread out before us. As we headed back the town was sparking into life at 6am, workers queuing for buses, more street sweepers, dogs , the sun glinting off buildings, a song of “ what shall we do with the drunken Shinod, early in the morning !“. 40 minutes half sleep dizzy, then wakey wakey a plate full of salad and fruit for breakfast and off we go again., No sign of Shinod!

Just learn that the tower was only half standing and was rebuilt in 1858.

Had to finalise the titles of the pieces I’m submitting today.
Pleased with the finished pen & ink drawing I’ve done, its away to be framed. ‘The Guardians ‘

Am ambivalent about the finished circular painting ‘Among the waves’, different to anyway I’ve painted before, combination of subject matter freedom circular canvas and the speed the acrylics dry in the heat, which has resulted in me painting in an even waterier way.

‘The journey’  is a bit naïve &crude, need to give it some oomph to finish. But simple enough in its symboligy people from all the cultures nod and point approval.

‘Boudicca- a mother’s duty’, is a challenge, kind of thing I’d be comfortable painting digitally, plus its figurative and I started with no mirrors photo refs or models, thinking I’d stylise it enough to avoid worrying about such things, but nope, I’m not sure what it is or isn’t- but the great thing is here it is accepted “ celtish - Boudicca! “ onwards & upwards. More relaxed today although there is still a lot of painting to be done.

It was lovely to be presented with a couple of gifts today from the other ladies in the studio, despite language barriers. Some typically Russian looking earrings, Slovenian ? Design that might be a mistranslation on my part of another Russian state, milli flori design. And the other gift a mother of pearl bracelet, because it suits me as I paint the sea, from a lovely artist Masha who paints with pressed flowers and smiles all the time.

Lunchtime Wednesday. Despite 3.5 hours sleep we are all in better humour today, after all tired and emotional yesterday. Me & Lynn are realising how much we are creatures of solitude, mountain girls who need just a little time alone each day, it was difficult trying to explain this to the other English speakers without them feeling rejected. Anyhow, chatting and laughing at lunch with Anna our translator we explored table manners of our respective countries, etiquette, womens dress & mens attitudes, class and caste systems, all very educational, in so many ways we are all modern evolving societies with the same attitudes and ways of life, in some ways though there are great differences.

later we sadly had to miss supper with the rest of the artists who were eating in the courtyard a traditional meal from I think kazakstan or Kurdistan? ( when the paintings are finished I'll spend more time with the translater getting to know the other artists! ) - we had an appointment at the english group who meet once a week and were keen to have the opportunity to talk to us. It was completely surreal, they have seen about us and the symposium on the news every morning, they are all keen to get their photos taken with us, and so good at english!  sleep deprivation was by now making me gabble, but talk about being treated like royalty or celebrities, every time we turn the cameras are on us, given the lack of sleep! I wish these folks could afford to come to Scotland, it is horrible that we are seperated by economics and visas, but prehaps its is this seperation that has preserved this place to be as pure and honest as it is ?

tuesday already ?

not had wi fi for last couple of nights, so blogging lagging even further behind! its a whirlwind so I've not even had time to write notes last day. rather hung over today as we were invited to some Russian artists room for wine song and international friendship- first time I've actually been drunk drunk in a LONG time, the wine was too much like juice!

so it made for an even more emotional day! much pressure on to finish the work for exhibition on friday, the folks who all came with days are broken up with many visitors and interviews, and paint paint painting as fast as i can got a new style because the acrylics dry out so fast. MUch to say about art and the attitudes here but it will wait. Tonight at 3am we are meeting some of the others to go for a walk to see the sun rise, one lady will be wearing her traditional tartar costume, so it should be another mind blowing experience in a week of them. Not getting enough sleep, too much socialising, and no time to wind down, still the brain, too much going on in head.

meanwhile heres some things I wrote over the last couple of days- more as soon as I get time;


Sunday 15th

Much cooler today, not enough sleep as there is no time to wind down, no time to process, and so much input, information, inspiration stimulus.

As we were not clear what a symposium even was, we didn’t realise we would need to plan, I guess the normal UK approach would be to react to circumstance, arrive & see what happens then create as a result of that. I was up to my eyes in the usual ‘commercial’ work, representational work ( painting by numbers ). I thought it would be okay, I’d be able to access something even though its very rare that I am allowed to draw from my own inner inspiration, I suppose I thought there would be more time for development work- and as usual I would ‘wing it’. so once everyone got set up in the studios we have realised that they are all preprepaed with designs. I also thought they wee looking for a more artistic abstracted interpretation of the broad theme on epics, but we have some quite specific interpretations of stories and myths, people were all rigged up canvases ready to go. A bit of a shock to the system then! To quickly come up with something, to peel back all the barriers and blocks which have been built up at home about what is acceptable ( or more often not ).

We got talking yesterday about Boudicca, the ladies had heard of her, it seems entirely sensible fr me to come here and paint her, her of ( statistically probably ) my ancestors, her of our culture- why have I never painted her at home? So cynical so sneering of our own culture everything passe, a cliché, ‘cheesy’, kitch, always derided. Here it makes perfect sense, to explain who we are, who I am in this different culture, where I am coming from. Now I have sketched out the canvas its going to be a tough one, a mother and her two daughters, a mothers duty, fight and sacrifice for her daughters, with the lack of sleep, and vodka for breakfast ( yes we are being led astray, the foreign entertainment for the week ), it will be emotional. I will have to try & focus on history rather than my own story here separate myself which will be difficult. But still there is 3 other picture to work on at least. But here I am winging it making it up as I go along and they want a form filling in with name and size of finished work! So against the grain to count the work before it is complete. We will be getting a long interview today for articles, catalogue etc. there was already a TV interview the first day. Winging it.

Later in day-
A long very in depth interview, intense, way beyond the usual PR spin which is easy to play. Strange to explain your life in depth, from the point of view from another culture, strange to talk about the self when all of life typically for a woman revolves around serving others. I’ve been through this process of self assessment before on counselling and psychology courses. I hate to be defined by the difficulties I have overcome but there they are, close to the surface. Scratch that surface and there it is. So is Russia a place I can finally take my armour off ? What does a soldier do when the battle is won ? Art and Nature have been my touchstones, that and the ability to dream, these have given me the strength to endure . To dream of a future, of better times is how we survive. The ‘happy place’ in my mind was the steppes, to me if there is a heaven this would be it, on horse back on the steppes, travelling to Altai to find…what? Why are we drawn to a particular dream? What was it about the tattoo art work I saw in the national geographic magazine in 1997 that made such a deep impression on me? I often thought that it didn’t matter if I ever made it to the Pazyryk region as the dream was enough to get me through the day. So when this Russia trip came up I was very excited that I was at least going to Russia which I have also always wanted to, but that I would be one step nearer to Altai- to my ‘happy place’. But it was nearer than I could have known, many of the artists here are painting scenes from the steppes, of warriors on horseback, mongol, pazyryk, Scythian,  Finno-Ugric . These cultures are not just artifacts in a museum, they are still living in these artists, they are still practiced, the old religions are still alive, strong and spiritual, blended with the modern orthodox and Islam, People are not talking about these things as ancient history but now , in the faces, language and beliefs of the talented people I am surrounded by. Alex said recently when I was complaining about British consumerism that ‘shopping is the new religion everywhere’ but I feel here on these streets and with these people a spirituality that is not present at home, I couldn’t even use that word at home as it is synonymous with people selling some snake oil or spurious self help book. But here there is a warmth and honesty, openness and ….the English language seems to have lost the words for it. I think I need some more sleep to calm down my crazy emotions ! But when the warrior takes of the armour, the simple warmth of the sun on the scarred skin feels strange and vulnerable. The path that Pazyryk design has set me on is not one that the rational brain can explain, it is a spiritual journey, my instincts were right. I just hope I can capture enough of it to take home with me.

Yelabuga

so Yelabuga is a beautiful Russian city on the kama river, if you want facts & figures google it, its also called Elabuga, 80 000 people, new and old part of the city. apparently the mayor they've had this last 10 years is really turning things around. expanding creating jobs, preserving history and building houses. ( no sign of the 'global' recession that is hitting UK so badly )













We can gather by the stares we get that foreign tourists are not an everyday occurrence, but its apparent that tourism is on the rise with huge plans to develop facilities for them. Never fear, this is Russia,  tourist facilities does not mean chip shops, nightclubs and imported plastic nick nacks, no, it means historical coach tours, fantastic museums, work on the river to allow cruise boats, a harbour and swimming place, a new restaurant, handcrafted traditional weaving, basketry etc all made in front of you and of course events like this symposium- all state funded.

 everything is done with care & an almost reverence for culture. So the new town is the usual ( I imagine ) concrete tower blocks, but despite the imposing appearance, they have nothing of the threatening atmosphere you'd expect from similar housing schemes in British cities, people seem capable of living in harmony without littering, asbos, disputes and discarded fridges outside. the old town is mostly all a state protected preservation area with 1000's of historical monuments and loads of specialised museums.

 The museums are all beautifully laid out and interpreted, and international award winners. I'd love to go in to more detail but there is just so much ground to cover ( literally ! ). So imagine a 19th Russian merchants town, with a history dating back to neolithic period. with muslim tartars and orthodox russians living side by side in harmony for hundreds of years, with pioneering Doctors of neuroscience, world famous artists, women warriors both Bulgars and in the napoleonic wars, imagine a place where people especially come to get married as it is so beautiful and romantic, classic ( I don't know what the proper word will be ? ) baroque almost architecture mixed with folk art style and mosque domes, its not like anything you've seen in any travel documentary, & i'm only scratching the surface.

jumbled thoughts & words

Saturday 14th

still no time for blogging when each hour is worth a whole blog, we get breakfast at 7.45, head to studio 8.30 ( our bus has tiger-skin pattern velour curtains, driver wears Hawaiian shirt and sailors cap- it makes sense here ! ), return from studios 8.30pm. I made notes today, but it was an emotional day, I always get emotional when i get in the painting 'zone' but this is crazy, I simply can't believe I am allowed to paint what I want, i don't even know where to start, but I have and the flood gates are opened, impatiently I want to get the pictures out no questions why, what next, whats the point?, done one small one, about the journey I guess. started a pen drawing, and two circular canvases, they are very watery- trying to bring a little of the sea to so far inland. one is about submerged cities, princesses living underwater, selkies ( seal people ); the other is a parade of animal symbols.

At times It felt lonely today, all the artists here are making work which would normally inspire me for months, yet I cannot talk to them about this work, about art, culture, stories, myths, symbol, it was like being trapped in a bubble. But I know the painting process brings every emotion to the surface so I just wait, next it was wonderful, I collared our translator for today, the enchanting and lovely Anna Pavlova- she communicate for me, with a couple of artists we swopped stories about what our paintings mean, what the symbols represent in different cultures, swopped folk stories of swans and seal folk, it was magical!

heres some thoughts earlier;

Journey, migration.
Life death birth
Human evolution, personal evolution, social evolution
Different cultures
Common roots
Common stories
Branches on a tree
Tree of life
Tree reaching to heaven
The pastures of heaven
Our journey
Travelling onwards
In spirals
Circles
Together
Alone
Our stories
Peoples stories
The stories of our people
Strange lands familiar emotions
Strange symbols
Shared symbols

The human tide

( view from studio )

I’m questioning home, questioning the freedom of the West,  the free market which enslaves us. We are so sure that we are free and safe - freedom and liberty, that even those of us who question everything still become enchanted by the western dream, or delusion of freedom and living the dream. UK makes a lot of noise for a small country, UK plays with the big boys and thinks it is so safe and so free. But here 2000 miles from the land of the free, in Russia, I am confused by the freedom, the layers we are wrapped in at home suffocate, the fear the rules the social constraints, we walk about town here, “ that wouldn’t be allowed” at every turn, yet the streets are clean and safe, no-one complains about children playing, pedestrians on the road, dogs loose, loud music, car alarms, smoke, workers, cars parked, no police interfere or question, no-one seems to notice, they stop to pick up litter, they stare at us looking so strange, yet it is a non-judgmental curiosity, questioning, happy to communicate. I was so worried about what the different social rules would be, I never expected that the rules are simple, human, honest. There are formalities here, respect and dignity, but as artists, free to paint what I want ? This has completely thrown me, I don’t have to justify? Explain? It won’t be judged, pigeon holed, dismissed as ‘other’ “ artists are a gift from god “…. at home , now, it feels like we are treated like simple fools to be tolerated, understood as something different “ arty farty- airy fairy “…I’m questioning what they told me at home, in the land where freedom is the dream we are sold, where I feel like a rat in the maze, cog in the machine. I think we are a lot less free than they have told us. I am pretty angry about this, all the time the whole world was waiting beyond tightly held borders, a whole wide giant vibrant world full of live, love, beauty, happy, vibrant free people.

( my space before work starts )

( our studio )

The accomodation

The studios are idyllic, I feel like an art student from a bygone era sent away on a grand tour of the world, set up in some stunning studio in an alien land, like the things you day dream about as a young student or imagine in films or when reading the biography of artists from hundreds of years ago. Alex described Yelabuga as like Mecca for artists. It is a unique city, not that I have any other Russian city experience to compare it to. Not only is it really beautiful architecturally, but to be surrounded by so many artists, to be welcome with such hospitality . But to be given the space the time, the materials the freedom to create is incredible. I don’t get nervous or excited about things before they happen, I don’t get scared when bad things happen, I stay focused, but now that I am here, settled in, I am becoming very emotional it is just so wonderful!  I am painting next to large open windows looking across to the tower & cathederal, a breeze wafts in. the canvas behaves differently to the ones I’m used to and the paint dries very fast, now I am getting used to this I can let it wash watery layers, trying to bring some of the sea into land locked Yelabuga.

Russia, food and hospitality

 much has been happening, it’s impossible to know where to start, there’s been no time to blog the last two days, so first – the food  & hospitality!

Breakfast at hotel- food is very different, very clean fresh flavours, lots of herbs are part of everyday life infusing things with subtle and strange tastes and smells. Breakfast is cooked things like rice or pasta, eggs ( with herbs ) sausage, also cheese fruit, salads, a bitter yogurt drink, and sometimes thick pancakes. Tea – chai, is usually black, not much use of milk as we know it, but the tea is delicious, not so bitter as ours, vey refreshing.

Lunches, start with a salad, like carrot with sour cream or coleslaw but not so sweet, or cucumber and yogurts, next course is a very watery soup, again fresh subtle flavours very refreshing in hot weather, today lentil & ham stock, yesterday some sort of vegetable and chicken. ( vegetarianism is going to be just too much hassle and the meat isn’t meaty meat- when in Rome do as ... )next course is a small plate ( by our standards ) or rice, or mashed potato, or pasta, with a meat and meal type burger or a strong tasting type of salmon cooked in flour, with a carrot sauce. There is also available piarajok ( sp? ) small pasties, with mashed potatoes, and or cabbage, sour cream, meat etc in- delicious ! next comes the tea, and the pancakes and a very runny jam or sour cream. It’s all wonderful, you never feel too full or too hungry. Nobody here is overweight. The tea we have at the museum theatre building is flavoured with blackcurrant leaves, so subtle. The herb that is mostly in the food is horseradish, but the leaves as well as the roots, a strange flavour, hints of mint or fennel or something else!

Thursday night after supper and our bus journey to the hotel we were very honoured to be the guests of Alex and his family to his flat, we walked a long walk through Yelabuga new part of the city to his apartment- it seemed everyone was out that hot evening, walking with their families, sitting by the fountain, playing with the children, watching the world go by, safe and relaxed despite the imposing concrete tower blocks. A world where crime and health & safety seem a million miles away. The hospitality at Alex, Luda’s ( sp? ) and Yorgies/George’s was wonderful. The flat is small by UK standards, but the warmth , friendship and generosity so much bigger.  I know it sounds like a cliché, but until you meet the open, relaxed, friendly hospitality of the Russians, words cannot do it justice.  We were offered a second supper, salads, caviar, vodka ( So much tastier than what we have in UK ), chai, homemade beer, wine, juice, chocolate...the table full with beautifully presented items, served in beautiful  glass and enamelled folk art cups. The air was hot and humid, everyone dripping with sweat, so Luda offered us ‘Russian  air conditioning’ – paper fans, which kind of sums this place, the paint may be peeling in places but the heart is all there. I hope one day we can return the generosity back in Scotland !

Then today, Friday, a special supper for everyone, all the artists after the formal meeting and speeches. Tonight a beautiful array of pickles, salad and vegetables, with salt herring, we got stuck in thinking this was the whole meal, but there was another course of rice and salmon to come, served with a red berry? juice, and green horseradish vodka. There were many speeches and toasts, all requiring more vodka, much pressure was put on us the international visitors to down the vodka in one... you can imagine the rest, dancing on the streets and general mayhem! Some of our colleagues will have sore heads tomorrow !

( the main supper to Open the event properly- yet another toast )

( a display at the museum of medicine, showing traditional herbs used in old medicine- most are the same as ours, but still in regular use )






















( Vodka, the creator of international friendships ! )

journey to Russia

(photo Edinburgh Airport before 1st flight )

Sheremetyevo airport 3 am Moscow time.
tired groggy and a bit confused. Don’t know which terminal we are in, we just parked ourselves somewhere with other humans sleeping on the uncomfortable seats. No free wi fi as I’d hoped. A long day, started  at 6am, Rich took me to achnasheen to meet Lynn & family, who then drove us to the bus station in town, bus...it all seems aeons ago, but it was some thousand miles....chatted bus journey passed fast, art families, college, the symposium theme, life. Cameron toll ?then the airport shuttle bus, Edinburgh airport grey dramatic clouds. Cup of tea, we’d done on-line check in which hadn’t really been necessary, had hours to use the self check in machines, still queued at check in anyway. Quick hop plane to Amsterdam, north east England patchy fields the bass rock, up up and then down into grey rain. Shinpol airport is HUGE we taxied for ages, arrived at one gate,  people heading off our plane for connecting flights all ver the world. We headed for the gate we’d been told & that was marked on the boarding card, seeming miles of corridor, gate had been changed, miles of corridor back again, found our gate, now we were queued with Russian faces and voices, it starts to hit, flutters of nerves and excitement. We were flying KLM so the flight attendants were Dutch with very good English of course, most of teh passengers seemed to speak good English but it was delicious to start hearing spoken Russian after so long it being abstract symbols on the computer screen of phrase books. The atmosphere on the plane was friendly, are we just used to the miserable economy short flights? was it the Dutch or the Russians? We thought we were in for a 5 hour flght it turned out that it was only 2.40, the long hours taking their toll as we tried to work out time zones and roubles. Amsterdam one time zone, Moscow 2 more, tomorrow another one. We hit some turbulence through some thunderstorms just west of Moscow, a bit scary but then I had been watching the last of LOST the night before. Wewere unsure about how to fill in teh immigration forms, scary... a chat next to Lyn started asking questions were we wre egoing etc, oh oh we both thought, touting for business? Something dogdgy? No, we was warning us that at this time of night you have to be careful wth the taxi’s as they will charge too much for tourists- which I’d already read in the phrase book. Another lady told us how to pronounce Yelabuga... I knew it didn’t sound right ! we were saying yellubuga, its YeLL-Ah-buga. When the pilot landed the plane people applauded, is this normal on longer flights ?

Official ladies at airpot, scary, though immigration no problems though, surpirised  my bags with all the tightly packed paints got through. Russian young women are stunningly beautiful, in a different way to UK pretty, but very haughty looking,  I guess they know they look good & don’t need to smile ? first impressions are everyone else seems friendly...allthough sleepy as its now 3.30am their time, 1.30 ours.

So I’ve made a nest of baggage on the polished floors to sleep and sit in, its really muggy hot, the pilot said 27C, it smells strongly of peat smoke. The tannoy lady speaks in Russian and English. Whats with the cellophane wrapping on bags?

Art ideas? Reading a little of my ‘women of the Celts ‘ book, love the underwater princesses storys but the books gone all post Freudian on me, Macha was made to race horses pregnant with twins not because men fear wombs and pregnancy represents their own death, but because it proves just how tough she was surely? And her curse explains the later weakness and affliction upon Ulster men. I hope we get internet connections as I want to look up more cross refs on wiki. I’m thinking crannogs, my crannog, and stories of women trapped on islands / underwater/ submerged towns, towns with underwater bells, tales of morality. Also about migration, journey , travels, the stories and folk lore travelled, the peoples migrated invaded conquered became evolutionary routes turned into misty tales of forgotten races and distant gods, boats, this with my own journey, back the way the celts and the Scythians, me heading back instinctive on some illogic path. Talking earlier about not needing words or religious concepts to explain, it just is, art our journey, the images we make the path we take, to explain it in terms of destiny, magic, or fate spoils it for me, it just is. How will this translate into art? Now will I get any sleep “ bing bong bing ladies and gentlemen “ ...not much i guess.

 ( photo Moscow sunrise 6am after a night trying to sleep at this terminal )

11^th august 2010,

Was woken up off my nest on the floor by a security man, who very friendliliy expl,ained that I cannot sleep on the floor, it sis okay to sleep on the chairs but not the floor. He spoke in Russian 1^st then sort of looked at me explained in English. Are we so obviously British ? I guess so. I later asked our hosts and they laughed, I take that as a yes then. This kept happening, I’d say excuse me ‘where is...’ in my best pigeon Russian accent, they’d reply in English. Meanwhile back to terminal...whereever we spent the night, no sleep at all very surreal & hard seats uncomfortable, culture shock, unsure of the social rules. By 6 am their time, still 3 ours? We started the next mission- lesson number 17 ask ask and ask again. We we told it was termainal D for our avianova flight, so off we headed, the red sun raising over a smoggy Moscow dawn, strange and alien skies greeting us. It wasn’t terminal D, but B, which would require a bus, taxi touts pounced on us “ oh at least an hour long way we take you no problem “ “nyet!”. It was about 20 minutes away & cost around 50p on the bus.

Leaving the main terminal of the modern buildings we saw camps of itinerant builders working on the airport horrible conditions, pipelines, everywhere scorched brown, old cars and lorries,m unfamiliar makes, a completely strange looking country, like what I imagined North Africa would look, not Russia. Terminal  B was a small old building for internal flights, we we ethe only tourists there. People kind of stare at us. The beautiful glamourous women put their noses up, officials are really scary and inyimidating, ques are strange us being polite soon realised we were always being shoved to the back, in one queue I was literally having a baggage trolley shoved into my legs..but then again wen I let one woman in front of me she was very pleased, smiling nodding and chatting away in Russian, so hey a bit of courtesy I’ll stick with. So another flight, anoter round of security passport checks and baggage scans. Sometime yesterday I was looking forward to my 1^st Russian voice, now thats all there was. So much to take in.

Slept on the flight. Again the applause when we landed, we’ve been told now it’s a European fashion. And there we were Begivishimo airport, plane door opened, and it was like walking into an oven. Hot,  clammy, clammy, still air, 35+ C in the shade...what shade?! The flat landscape scorched yellows and browns. Didn’t take many photos of the journey as I didn’t want to be too much of a tourist, we get enough strange looks as it is!

( Alex who invited us to the symposium and has fixed all our problems for us )

( Olga our translator )

We were met by Alex , Olga  ( our translator ) & a driver, drive to Elabuga, over the river Hama, past remains of a wild fire, past hitchers, ladas, ancient looking lorries, beautiful forests,  swathes of allotments with summer houses ‘dakars?’, then into Elebuga. Old town incredible! Wooden buildings every shape and size with carving around windows , main historical centre which is all part of the state preservation area of which the symposium is part of...photos another day. Its stunning. Lunch, fantastic fresh and strange foods, their tea is the best ever! Friendly people, trying out our pigeon Russian, different social rules, back to hotel – a whole apartment each !- organisational stuff, being very well looked after by Olga & Alex, then a sleep and cold bath ( believe me I need it Its as hot as the Fire house here ), dinner, met some more artists all smiles & language barriers so far, walk around town, wi fi card buying, shopping , fruit market ( no tescos monopoly here ) bottled water, blocks of flats in new town . canna get the air con to work, its probably a gaffa tape job tomorrow...things are very different here. Head reeling!  We are 3 hours ahead of home. Early start tomorrow setting up studio spaces...eeek!

Last day before 'Epic' adventure

Last day at home before starting the journey to Russia. After heavy showers the sun has now come out, I think we've only had a couple of dry afternoons in 6 weeks, it was spring , then rain now the berries and darkening nights tell us Autumn is coming. No matter, I'm off to the heat & the sun to paint in Russia for 12 days. If you've seen the news you will be well aware that there has been a heat-wave over there and wildfires a causing devastation, this last week the smoke has caused airport closures- at the moment the two airports we need are open so fingers crossed it stays that way.

I thought a picture of my unkempt garden & house would be a suitable photo to launch us on our journey of exotic lands. Myself & fellow traveler Lynn hope to keep up blogs of our adventure depending on the internet availability, Lynn's is here.

my bag is crammed with my brushes & paints, the 'studio' is tidied, laptop loaded with my favorite Celtic art reference pictures. Just time to try & learn some Russian phrases, or finish some of the work hanging over me or....possibly RELAX a little? since the last 2 months have been exhausting and flat out with work. There I've done it, said the 'R' word.

next blog We'll be on our way & I'll write some about the symposium theme 'Breath of the Epic'.

Housing Expo.

All this month there is 'Scotlands Housing Expo' on at Milton, just south of Inverness. 

Its well worth a visit, a fascinating project. Its basically a whole estate of eco showhouses, all completely different styles, designs, ideas. there are huge luxury houses, apartments, social housing, all are going to be incredibly cheap to run, many use 'passive' heating systems, that is the structure & design of the building utilizing space light and building materials to collect and retain heat. there is a community green, a play area, narrow cobbled alleys and normal streets. Some houses aren't finished yet, the whole project had fallen behind. I think we have all become rather cynical about any big project like this in the highlands as it all involves lots of tax payers money and only the usual 'jobs for the boys'- however I was very surprised to enjoy my two days at the expo, the atmosphere was very friendly and relaxed, was this the training of the staff/ ambassadors in each of the houses or the design of the site?

There were a few houses we fell in love with, gorgeous light and space, clever layouts, huge windows, doors opening into gardens, balconies, multi levels, mezzanines. Many felt like they didn't belong next to other houses & should have been in a forest or by the beach. Particularly at the bottom of the site. I felt the top end worked much better as a town community, they had walls for privacy, yet opened out to friendly social spaces, looking like they fitted together. There are no prices on the houses yet, as valuers are finding the unusual situation & designs impossible to value. some will be for low rent, others to buy, some are social housing. It will be fascinating to see what the community will be like in a few years time, it will work for sociable friendly people and families, not grumpy rich old couples who complain about children or anyone in a different economic group to them.

Some buildings had a lack of storage space, parking space? why the bathroom next to the front doors? why the large hallway waste of space? Others lovely! office space, studio space, workshop space. Also very annoying were the Albyn housing showhouses, all very modern & energy efficient, no mention of rotting floors, walls, 35 year old heating systems that don't work etc etc that they are happy to leave us with....

I was there working of course; doing 'RAGS to RICHES'

In the highland Councils recycling house, Doing recycled craft workshops. I had a steady stream of participants mostly making rag dream-catchers, which all came out brilliantly. Lovely to see grown ups joining in too, often it was grannies helping out and patiently showing the youngsters how to do things which was lovely. Talking to the children its obvious to me how important the eco schools projects are in raising their awareness of 'Green' issues. Their craft skills and manual skills experience varies wildly depending on their individual teachers or parents, how to tie basic knots is not a standard.

Now to unload the remaining Rags & Willows from the van and get on preparing for Russia!  van - did I mention we slept over in the van? small van, won't be doing that again! workshops are best done after some hours of sleep.

Ross Shire Journal

Fridays 'Ross shire Journal' had a couple of mentions about our Russian trip.

heres the on-line version here...

'Rags to Riches' clutter

So the Russian trip preparation ticks onwards, but the pile of work I need finished by September sits albatross like upon me, exhaustion. Next two days I'm off to Scotlands Housing Expo, to run workshops for the Highland Council in Recycled crafts, " Rags to Riches " we shall be cutting weaving, knotting and such like, my van is full of willow wands, sticks and rags. I shall also be spending the night in the van so had better move the sticks first.

meanwhile my 'studio' is a complete tip ( and yes I paint canvases upside down & sideways, whatever works ), the rest of the house isn't much better as books of celtic mythology, canvases, half packed bags, paper, fabric, looms, glass shards & mosaics all threaten to collide. Dinnae worry by tuesday morning all will be calm & organised & then I can discuss thoughts about myths, epics, archetypes and art.

news round up

• Russia trip features on Hi-Arts website.
• starting in October I will be tutoring a painting course in lochcarron on behalf of the Skye & Wester Ross College ( subject to numbers ) details here
• the Lochcarron Tuesday Art group is taking a break during August while everyone is busy.
• Mosaic panel 2 is finished;
  
• Been gathering Willow for dreamcatcher/ recycled textile workshops Friday & Saturday at the Housing Expo . Doubled up this task with helping out at the Smithy heritage centre where the grounds have been sadly neglected over the last 5 years. The new committee have plans to get the project all back up and running again, so Rich, the dog and I went to help out by wrestling the overgrown willow dome back into shape. I now have a giant pile of willow to strip, no jokes about 'strip the willow' please.

• Also nearly finished the first big canvas painting a couple of tweaks & starting the next one.
• this time next week on our way to Russia! you should see the list of work I have to finish before then !